


Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored

by jackkellys



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Overdosing, Spot hates everyone, Underage Drinking, bc i can, blink dresses like those white boys girls are whores for, description of panic attacks, everyone is gay most likely, it’s going to go pretty fast but it’s still gonna be slow burn-ish, i’m kind of basing spot off of philip from eyewitness, jack is a Mess and david is more of a controlled Mess, no one can stop me, no one can stop the ot3 i have created just bc I can, racetrack dresses like a stereotypical straight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-11-16 09:32:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackkellys/pseuds/jackkellys
Summary: Spot’s mother is an addict which sends him to live in a small town outside the city. He meets the ultimate straight boy who’s most likely not actually straight considering he kisses Spot on the weekends.





	1. Sean Conlon Is Not A Dog

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from ari’s song bc i’m in love with her. she makes me Big Gay. also  
> I rewatched Eyewitness (US) and I remembered how much I loved it? And it inspired this fic kinda? Just without all the murder (so really no) Also eyewitness deserved a second season.

Sean stared at his social worker as they talked to his new family: a woman with a boy who looked to be Sean's age. The woman, who was named Medda Larkin, had dark skin and curly black hair tucked as neatly as possible into a bun. The boy, Jack Kelly, looked nothing like her, his skin was lighter, his brown hair was long but not long enough that it covered his eyes. The boy was watching him curiously, which made Sean uncomfortable but he refused to show it. He stood straight with his arms crossed and glared at him with his best bitch face.

He thought they had agreed Sean would stay in the city not move out into the middle of nowhere. It seemed he was the only one with that plan seeing as he was planted an hour from the city in a small town. It was a nice little town, he supposed if you were a basic white girl who "wanted to get away"...this is where you would go.

Sean rocked back and forth on his heels as his social worker left and it was only him, Jack and Medda.

Medda gives him a large smile and Sean grows even more uncomfortable under her gaze, "Well, Sean, wanna get unpacked? Get lunch?"

Sean shrugs and stuffs his hands in his jean jacket pockets.

"Jack, why don't you get his things..."

Jack nods and heads to Sean's social workers car where he had only packed a few things, mainly clothes.

"So, I have fixed up a room for you beside Jack's...you'll have to share a bathroom with him though, it's just the weird way the room works," Medda explains. "Or you can sleep in his room if being alone...makes you uneasy or something."

Sean nods and clears his throat, "I'll just take the extra room." He was not about to share a room with Cowboy over there.

Sean follows behind Jack and Medda slowly. He looks around the small neighborhood, there weren't that many houses and most of them were small. Medda's house seemed bigger than the others, but maybe because she seemed to have more land. There was a barn near her house but it looked to be rundown and unused. Sean tried not to seem shocked as he walked inside. The place was bigger than he imagined. Stairs were the first thing you saw as you entered, and yeah they were just stairs but they didn't look like they would crash under you. And there was a large living room on his right and a dining room on his left.

They make their way upstairs and Sean has no more time to gape at the place. He rushes to follow them, eyeing the pictures along the walls as he walks upstairs. He saw two doors close to each other near the end, an extra room that had a couch inside and a TV. Medda opens a plain white door, that looked exactly like the other one, to reveal a room bigger than the one he had at his home. There was a bed pushed against a wall, a small window right beside it. There was a nightstand and a dresser as well. The walls were coated in a very light grey paint, the only things hanging up were a row of shelves and a picture board.

"We thought if you had anything you wanted to hang up, you can," Medda says and pats the picture board. "We can change the color as well, if you don't like grey."

"Grey is fine," Sean says, "Thanks."

Medda nods and Jack lays down his bags on the bed.

"Well, I'm making spaghetti for lunch if you want some, just...uh come downstairs whenever," Medda gives him one last smile and leaves the room.

Sean eyes Jack who was still standing in his room.

"Medda's cool," Jack tells him, "Wouldn't be here if she wasn't. Only flaw is that she's not a good cook. Not that I'm not grateful but she burns things more often then not."

Jack laughs at himself but Sean doesn't smile.

"...which is why I should probably go help her," Jack says a bit awkwardly and leaves the room.

Sean hesitantly sits on the bed and places the phone given to him on the bed. He throws his two bags of clothes onto the floor, he wasn't going to bother with putting them away. If he was gonna be here only a few weeks then it wasn't worth it. Sean does, however, pull out a photo him and his mother on Christmas. Sean's mother, Leigh, was smiling widely her permed hair wild and all over the place. Her small arm was wrapped tightly around Sean's shoulder, who was also smiling just as wide. Sean smiles at the picture and decides to pin it onto the picture board. It was one of the only pictures of the two together where Leigh wasn't high on something.

He hears Medda and Jack downstairs in the kitchen. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

—

Monday morning came too fast and Sean had hardly slept at all. Their neighborhood was too quiet. Medda knocked on his door telling him it was time for school. Sean groans and stares at the door, waiting for her to come in but she doesn't. He hears her knock on Jack's door and then she's walking away. Sean hears the shower turn on in the bathroom and he sighs. He should've just taken a shower the minute he woke up but he chose to lay in bed instead.

Sean stares at his reflection in the mirror connected to the dresser and decided his hair didn't look that bad. He runs a hand through it and gets his dressed. He only had plain t-shirts of many colors, most smelled like cigarettes the smell clinging to him to remind him who he is, who his mother is. Sean pulls on the black jeans he's owned for as long as he can remember and laces up his leather boots. He stares at his jean jacket: his most prized possession, his mother had bought it for him before he started his senior year. Spot never questioned her where she got the money, just hoped it was honest money, not her drug selling money. He slips it on and made his way downstairs.

Medda was smiling and placing eggs on the table. Sean just stares and takes a seat.

"Eat up!" Medda grins, "I got you a backpack and supplies."

"You didn't need to do that," Sean says and shoves his eggs around with a fork.

Medda just continues to smile, "I wanted to."

Jack comes barreling down the stairs and collapses into his seat. Sean watches in disgust as he shoves eggs in his mouth.

"Jack," Medda scolds, "Slow down."

Jack slows down for only a minute, "Sorry, Medda, David is on his way."

Sean raises an eyebrow.

"I thought maybe you could drive Sean today," Medda says.

"...Oh," Jack says and Sean tries not to roll his eyes.

"That's fine, I prefer walking anyways," Sean speaks up.

"No," Medda retorts, "You don't even know where the school is. Surely he can ride with you and David."

"Yeah, he can ride with me and Dave," Jack confirms, "Dave won't mind."

Sean eats a few bites of his eggs before pushing the plate away. He was never a big fan of eggs, his mom always making them for her boyfriend whenever he was hungover (which was most of the time) and the eggs were usually cold because they'd sit in the skillet until his mom actually remembered to feed her son and boyfriend. But he also knew to suck it up and be grateful for food. Sean knew what it was like to be hungry and he was glad he didn't have to go through that anymore.

A car horn is what makes him jump. Jack stifles his laughter, "That's Dave, c'mon Sean."

Sean thanks Medda and grabs the black backpack she had placed beside him. He notices Jack has a similar one although his was a light blue and had doodles that looked like Jack had done them himself.

Jack opens the back door of the mini van and then opens the passenger door. Sean takes a seat inside the van and watches as "Davey" leans across the console but Jack quickly moves back. David frowns but then notices Sean in the backseat.

David turns to smile at him and honestly, Sean was getting tired of everyone smiling at him.

"I'm David," He introduces.

Sean glances over him: the boy was wearing a red sweater, khakis, and black converse shoes. His glasses were circular and a bit too big for his face yet he somehow managed to pull it off. His hair was a mess of curls although it looked like he attempted to tame it before giving up. At least he looked more put together than Jack, whose hair was still wet from the shower and he was clad in a school football t-shirt and sweatpants.

When realizing Sean wasn't gonna say anything David cleared his throat and turned around.

"That's Sean," He hears Jack tell David, "He's stayin' with me and Medda."

Sean pretends not to notice Jack's hand on David's thigh as they drive to school. It was obvious they were together, no one could ignore the way they look at each other. Sean barely knew Jack and David but he could tell the minute Jack started talking about him. He could care less if people liked dick or not. If it doesn't concern him why should he be bothered?

They pull up to the school eventually, it was larger than Sean had expected it to be.

"C'mon," Jack encourages and opens the door for David and Sean.

Sean drags along behind David and Jack, using this time to look around the school at all the faces and clothing and types of people. They enter the school and the first thing Sean notices is that it's really loud and it smells.

"You'll get used to it," Jack turns around to tell him, "It's just a Monday, gets better through the week."

Sean doesn't bother asking him why. 

They stop near the front office and Sean quickly turns around to pretend to be interested in the flyers. He can hear Jack and David talking quietly to one another and Sean kind of wants to turn around and say "got ya, you gays," but that's not the impression he wants.

"What're ya doing?" A boy asks, startling Sean.

The boy was smiling down at him, taller by a few inches (but then again the only ones not taller than Spot were a few girls and babies). His hair was curly like David's but lighter and he had really nice blue eyes.

"Uh..." Was all Sean could think to say in front of this incredibly cute boy. Sean was not good around cute boys even though he liked to say he was.

The boy turns around and then turns back to Sean, "Waitin' on Cowboy and Mouth?"

Sean snorts at the nicknames, "Kinda names are those?"

The mystery boy just smiles and turns to actually read the flyers. Sean glances over him, not checking him out, just looking. He was wearing a hoodie with the school logo on it and skinny jeans with checkered vans. Sean watches curiously as he brings his sleeve up to his mouth, then blows out smoke. Sean nearly laughs. Of course he would only be the straightest boy ever. Sean tried not to groan.

"What's yours?" Sean asks him.

The boy just smirks at him.

"Ah, hey Racer," Jack interrupts. "I see you met Sean, he's stayin' with me and Medda."

“Racer?"

"Racetrack," The boy corrects and laughs. 

"Racetrack?" Sean repeats and laughs.

"Uh..." Jack says, "We gotta head to the front office, Race so..."

Sean and Race both turn to look at Jack whose hands were shoved in his pockets and face was red.

"Right," Race says, "See ya, Sean."

"Bye, Race."

They watch him disappear into the crowd of students before Jack leads him to the guidance office. Jack introduces him to their grade counselor, Hannah, and then disappears.

"We have a boy here to give you a tour of the school, help you out if ya need it," Hannah tells him, "I just gotta call him down."

Sean watches her pick up a phone and call a boy by the name of Louis to the guidance office. He taps his fingers on his leg as he waits, Hannah was typing on her computer the noise somewhat comforting to him. The door opens abruptly and a boy comes tumbling in. He was wearing a Queen t-shirt with a white long sleeve underneath it tucked into a pair of jeans and his nails were roughly painted black. The strangest thing about the boy was he had an eyepatch over his left eye.

"Hey, Ms. Hannah!" "Louis" greets, "Mr. Weasel isn't happy with you."

"Wiesel," Ms. Hannah corrects, "And he'll get over it. This is Sean Conlon, he's new."

"No way?" The kid says sarcastically and Hannah rolls her eyes.

"Just show him around, take this pass," Hannah says.

Louis takes the pass and motions for Sean to follow him. Sean hurries out of the chair and catches up to walk beside him. 

"You can call me Blink," The boy says.

Sean only stares at him, "You don't happen to be friends with Racetrack do you? Cowboy?"

Blink laughs, "Yeah, I am! I've known em since middle school, where the nicknames started. Except we don't really call Jack 'Cowboy' anymore."

Sean nods, "Right."

"How do you know them?" Blink asks.

"I'm staying with Jack and Medda, met Race this morning."

"Aw, lucky," Blink says, "Medda is the best...Jack's okay."

Sean forces a small laugh.

"Kidding, Jack is cool too."

"Why do you wear an eyepatch?" Sean asks and then winces, he should've worded it better.

Blink just laughs, "Crazy dad, ya know? I have a glass eye, but an eyepatch looks cooler, doesn't it?"

Sean shrugs, "Makes you look like a pirate."

"A good looking pirate," Blink jokes.

"Yeah, sure," Sean scoffs but he smiles.

They walk past the cafeteria, Blink pointing it out as well as pointing out to never use those bathrooms because people only use them for sex and smoking.

"That's nice," Sean compliments.

Blink shows him how each hallway has a number assigned to it, which Sean was sure every school had but he wasn't gonna say that, and how it corresponds with his classes.

"Almost all sciences are 500 and all history is 700...but sometimes it's different. Like I have a history class upstairs but it's because they just added it."

Sean nods.

"Really just follow the signs and you'll find your class," Blink reassures him, "See you have a class in 1203, that's all the way at the end of the school. Classes upstairs usually are 1400."

Sean nods again.

"Do you want to go in any of your classes?" Blink asks, "Because there is still at least an hour of class and I do not want to go back to Math."

Sean stares down at his first block, which consisted of History and shrugged.

"C'mon, we can go to Denton's, he doesn't have a first," Blink says, "But we won't stay the whole hour."

Blink continues pointing out short cuts and tips that Sean will never remember as they walk near the front of the school.

"Literature classes are usually 600 hall, but for some reason they have the foreign language teachers at the end so not all lit teachers get to stay here."

"Boys, you have passes?" A man says, approaching them. Sean notices Blink tense and then pull out the pass Ms. Hannah gave them.

"This is Sean Conlon, I'm showing him around," Blink tells him.

The man looks at their pass and then looks over both of them. He sighs and hands the pass back, "All right. Take Mr. Conlon to class, Louis?"

"Yes, sir," Blink says and grabs the pass.

Sean speed walks to catch up with Blink. When they are out of hearing range Blink begins, "Thats Snyder. Assistant principal, basically, but only he calls himself that. He is mainly in control of putting kids in ISS. Which is like detention while at school, you have to sit a classroom with him and do nothing."

Sean nods, "Right."

"We call him Snyder the spider."

Sean laughs, "That's a stupid name."

"He's a stupid guy."

They stop in front of Sean's history class and Blink sighs, "Well, sorry we couldn't go to Denton's. If you ever wanna skip first block go to his, he's room 605."

Blink begins to leave but turns around, "Oh! And we sit near the back of the lunchroom. Lunch A!"

Sean looks down to see he does, in fact, have lunch A and nods at Blink.

"Thanks."

Blink nods at him and walks off. Sean knocks on the wooden door and the teacher looks up from his desk and walks to open the door for him.

"Hi," The teacher smiles.

Sean just hands him his schedule.

"Nice to meet you," The man says and he points to an empty desk at the back of the class, "We're just taking notes."

—

Lunch came quickly, which Sean was thankful for. He walks to the cafeteria quickly, pushing past slow walking students and couples making out like they won't see each other in an hour.

He makes his way to the back of the lunchroom like Blink said and looks around. Sean saw them on the other side of the lunchroom, near glass doors that lead outside. Sean walks that way.

"Hey, Sean!" Blink shouts, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Hey," Sean says and takes the empty seat across from Blink. He looks at everyone sitting at the table. He noticed David but didn't see Jack.

"Jack has B lunch," David tells Sean when seeing him look at him confused. 

Sean nods.

"This is Sean," Blink introduces to the table, "Stayin' with Jack an' Medda."

Kids begin throwing out their names and Sean feels overwhelmed. Blink eventually bushes them and starts over.

"You obviously know David. The guy sitting like right beside you is Albert, the guy with the glasses is Specs, uh the girl arm wrestling Specs is Jojo. And the boy practically hanging off of Specs is Romeo," Blink says, "Then there's Finch, Skittery and Bumlets."

"And I'm Nick, or Mush," The guy sitting close to Blink introduces. The boy was wearing the ugliest sweater Sean had ever seen and his nails were also painted black.

"My boyfriend," Blink then adds.

Sean just nods and goes back to unpacking the lunch Medda insisted he take. He stares at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich before taking a small bite.

"Hey guys!" A voice Sean recognizes shouts. A black paper tray is being set beside him and then a body is sitting awfully close to Sean's on the bench.

"Sean, glad to see you met everyone else!" Racetrack grins.

"Racer, I'm taking this," Albert speaks up and takes the mashed potatoes from his tray.

"No way, Al!" Racetrack frowns and goes to grab it back but Albert held it out of reach.

"Please?”

"No!" Racetrack frowns.

"Yes!"

"No!”

Racetrack glares as Albert begins to eat it and Mush sighs and hands Race his own mashed potatoes.

"They aren't that good," Mush grumbles.

"Yes they are!" Race and Albert say in unison.

Sean just laughs and takes one last bite of sandwich before shoving the other half away.

"What else do you have in there?" Albert asks curiously leaning over Race.

"Ignore Albert, he doesn't understand boundaries," Race says shoving the red haired boy away. 

Sean just passes his bag to Albert who takes it happily.

"You aren't gonna eat that?" Race asks.

Sean shakes his head, "Nah. Not hungry."

Race nods and eats his chicken sandwich quietly. 

—

The week felt like it lasted forever, at least in Sean's opinion. He had no one he knew in any of his classes and only saw his acquaintances at lunch. Jack kept trying to talk to him at home but Sean wouldn't say much. Medda tried as well but Sean refused. He wasn't going to get attached if he would be sent back home soon.

It was Friday night and Jack had a few friends over. They were in the bonus room watching movies and whatever else teenage boys do while Medda was downstairs in her room. Sean grabs his wallet and phone and places them in his jacket pocket. He slowly opens his bedroom door and tries to tip toe past the bonus room.

"Hey Spot!" Blink shouts grabbing his attention. Sean see's Mush's head lying in his lap, focused on the movie.

"What?"

"Your nickname," Blink tells him, "Spot, cause of all your freckles."

"That's a dogs name," Sean frowns.

"Even better," Blink teases. "Where are you going?"

"No where," Sean says and he looks around to see who else is there.

He sees a boy he doesn't recognize talking to Finch. He has a crutch lying beside him. He can see Race pushing Jack trying to grab something out of his hand but Jack is holding it out of reach. Jack can see David rolling his eyes and trying to make Jack give it to Race. Albert is recording it on his phone and then Sean realizes Jack is holding a blunt. Sean freezes.

"You good, bro?" Mush asks him.

Sean nods slowly and looks away from the group, "Uh...you’re smoking?"

Mush nods and turns back to the movie.

"Medda's downstairs," Sean says.

"She don' care," Jack speaks up after finally giving Race the joint.

"Does she know?"

Jack shakes his head and shrugs, "You ain't gonna tell her, are you?"

"Wanna hit?" Race asks him.

Sean glares at him, "No, dumbass."

Race holds his hands up in defense and passes it back to Jack, who then gives it to David.

"Oh, Sean, this is Crutchie," Jack then says, pointing towards the blonde boy with crutches.

"Hi!" The guy greets enthusiastically.

"His names Spot now," Blink says with a smile, "Cause 'a his freckles."

Jack laughs at that, "Spot."

Sean just nods and keeps walking towards the stairs.

"Hey!" He hears Jack call, "Where're you going?"

"No where," Sean replies, not bothering to turn around.

"Your curfew is twelve," Jack says, "You can't go out without tellin' Medda."

"I ain't leavin'," Spot groans, "You aren't Medda, are you?"

"...No."

Spot nods, "Unless you want me tellin' her about how you get stoned on the weekends then I suggest you fuck off."

"Asshole," He hears Jack grumble before walking back to his friends.

Sean huffs when realizing the alarm system was already on. He notices that none of the windows have a sensor over them and smiles. Sean rushes back upstairs, making sure to make his presence known that he had, in fact, not gone anywhere. He slams his door and walks towards his window. No sensor. Sean opens his window and grins when nothing happens. The drop wasn't that far, he decided, and slowly lowered himself out the window. He crashes onto the ground and groans but picks himself up and makes his way to the closest bus station.

—

Sean is filled with content as he enters the city, finally feeling as if he can breathe. It smells and it is just as crowded as the daytime, but it's home. It's familiar. Sean makes his way down streets and alleyways until he's at the small rundown apartment complex. They lived on the bottom floor, two small dying plants on each side of the paint chipped door. He lifts up the pot and grabs the key even though it's probably not locked, never is. He moves the doorknob and finds out it is, in fact, unlocked.

Sean tiptoes inside and looks around. It smells and it's too hot but it's home. There are bags of fast food lying around and bags of stuff, Sean doesn't even want to know. He smiles and makes his way further into the small apartment into the small bedroom right across from his mothers room. Sean collapses onto the mattress on the floor, smiling into the old pillow and tugs the ragged red blanket over him. He falls asleep almost instantly.

—

"Baby?" He hears a soft voice call, "Sean?" 

Sean slowly sits up and rubs his eyes. He smiles brightly when seeing his mothers small frame leaning over him. "Mamma."

"Sean, you can't be here," Leigh says shaking her head and stepping back. 

Her blue tank top hangs off her, basically swallowing her at this point. She was wearing a long floral skirt that was somehow tied in the waist to keep it from falling off. Her hair was tied up with a ribbon, keeping it out of her face. She looked worse now then she did when he left. 

"I miss you," is all Sean can say.

"It's only been a few weeks," Leigh says and walks out of her room.

Sean chases after her, "How are you doing?"

She grabs the watering can from beside the door and steps outside, "I'm doing fine."

"Are you?"

"Yes," She says and waters the dying plants. "How are you doing, baby? You got placed with a family."

"Medda's nice, her son Jack is cool," Spot shrugs and sits on the worn out couch that was outside. Leigh sits beside him and lights a cigarette.

Sean lays his head on her shoulder, "I miss the city."

Leigh hesitantly rests her head on top of his own, "You can't be here, Sean. They'll keep you away longer if you are."

"And they'll keep me away longer if you don't get sober," Sean tells her.

"I'm getting better, baby," She tells him. 

"I want you to go to rehab," Sean says.

He feels his mother tense up then relax, "Okay. I will."

"You will?" He asks hopefully. Sean sits up to look at her.

She nods and he smiles, laying his head back down.

"Don't you think Medda will be looking for you?"

Sean shrugs, "I'll go back in a few minutes."

"How's school?" Leigh asks him.

"It’s good."

"Any friends?"

"More like acquaintances," Sean says, "I mean, they're Jack's friends but they all talk to me."

"That's nice of them," Leigh smiles, "Any relationships?"

Sean snorts, "No, Mamma. It's only been a week since I started school."

She shrugs, "Love works fast."

Sean sighs, "No. I mean..."

Leigh coo's and Sean rolls his eyes.

"There's a...boy," Sean pauses and looks up to see her reaction. But there is no reaction she just keeps smiling. "But I think he's straight. And it's not like I'm in love with him he's just okay looking."

"What's his name?"

"I don't know his name," Sean says even though it was a lie. He didn't want to say it and then it be real. "Besides it doesn't matter."

"Have you had any boyfriends before?" Leigh asks him curiously.

Sean shakes his head. He'd kissed boys before but it never went any further than making out. It never led to sex or to a date.

"How long have you known?"

Sean's known since middle school but it was a reality his freshman year of high school. They had watched Romeo + Juliet, the one with Leonardo DiCaprio. That's when Sean knew.

"I think I've always known," Sean tells her.

A few minutes then turned into an hour, but he was so tired and his mother was playing with his hair.

A car pulls up to the apartment and Sean stiffens. 

"Who's that?"

"Medda," Sean says and his mother quickly rises to her feet.

Medda gets out of her car and walks towards them.

"I told him he wasn't supposed to be here," Is the first thing Leigh says.

Medda only smiles, "That's all right. I was just worried about him. Up and gone, Jack says he never saw you go."

"He came late last night I'm guessing," Leigh says, "I found him sleeping."

"Oh," Medda says, "We should get going.”

"Can I grab something first?" Sean asks her.

Medda nods and they watch him disappear into the house.

"I'm going to go to rehab," Leigh confirms to Medda.

"That's great, Leigh!" Medda grins. "Does Sean know?"

Leigh nods.

Sean runs back out, clutching the red blanket in his arms. "I'm ready."

Medda nods and they get into the truck.

"How'd you know?" Sean asks her.

Medda doesn't answer and that's all Sean needs to know.

"You can't just run off like that," Medda tells him, "At least let me know where you are going."

Sean nods but he won't apologize. 

"You know you can't visit her," Medda says, "When she gets better they'll give her visitation rights."

Sean just shrugs.

"I know it's hard."

"You don't know shit," Sean grumbles.

He hears Medda sigh but she doesn't argue with him.


	2. Sean Is A Dog, He Guesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spots mom tries to go to rehab and Spot pretends to like skateboarding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u hate on marcie i hate on u. also tw for panic attack starting at “dropped the dish”

It seems that over the weekend the nickname "Spot" took hold. Everyone who was friends with Blink began calling Sean "Spot." Sean didn't hate it that much, it was nice to be included on something but it also made him sound like a dog. Which he didn't like very much.

He was sitting in his lit class waiting for the bell to ring so he could go to lunch. Spot had realized the reason why he didn't really have classes with any of the people in Jack's friend group (which was quite large) was because they were all mostly Sophomores or Juniors while Spot was a senior. (Even though Jack was the same age, Medda held him back a grade). Which was why he was confused when a girl sat down beside him and called him Spot.

The girl was very pretty, with light brown hair that reached to the middle of her back and big brown eyes. She was wearing a plain blue dress with a white cardigan and boots.

"I'm Sarah Jacobs," She then smiles, "David's sister. You're staying with Jack Kelly, right?"

Spot nods.

She smiles, "Sorry you have to put up with him."

Spot smiles, "Especially when he's with Mouth."

"Oh, tell me about it," Sarah exaggerates.

"Always making eyes at each other but they don't ever do anything when I'm in the room. It's kind of frustrating," Spot says and he doesn't really know why he's telling her this.

"You're lucky then," Sarah giggles, "I've walked in on them at least twenty times."

Sarah's attention is moved from Spot to the door. Spot turns to see a girl with dark red hair rushing into the classroom. Clad in gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. He recognized her from Jack's friend group, she often walked with them to the parking lot but Spot couldn't recall a name.

"Saz, you forgot this," She says handing a notebook to Sarah.

Sarah blushes and takes the notebook, "Thanks, Kath."

The girl smooths out her hair, straightening her bangs, "Right. See you. Bye, Spot!"

"Bye?" Spot says as the girl rushes back out of the class.

Spot turns to Sarah who was still blushing.

"Katherine," Sarah tells Spot, "Her dad's the principal."

"Right," Spot says.

"She's cool," Sarah says.

"And pretty."

"Hey!" Sarah says and Spot laughs.

"Kidding!"

—

Spot sits at lunch, listening to Mush gush over some indie band. Spot eats his sandwich slowly, passing the rest of his lunch to Albert. Race soon joins them with a lunch tray and a big smile. 

"Hey, David," Race says when Mush is done speaking.

David looks away from his conversation with Finch, "Yeah?"

"Les wanna go to the skate park with me after school today?" Race asks him.

"I'll text him later and ask," David informs. "Who's all going?"

"Me, Al, Dutchy and Marcie," Race says.

David nods and goes back to his conversation with Finch.

"You skate?" Spot asks him.

"Isn't it obvious?" Albert teases.

Spot would expect nothing less, to be honest. The boy owns way to many Thrasher and Supreme clothing.

"I expect nothing less," He voices and Race rolls his eyes.

"You into skating?" Race asks Spot, "Wanna come with us?"

Spot thinks for a minute, he'd never even touched a skateboard before. But also if it meant spending time with Race..."Yeah!" Spot nearly facepalms. He hates himself.

"Cool," Race grins, "I have theatre fourth block so we can just meet at the front of the school."

"Cool."

—

Spot makes his way to the front of the school quicker than usual, sending a text to Jack saying he was hanging out with Race. He didn't bother texting Medda since she was tracking him anyways. Spot was relieved to see Race actually waited for him.

"Hey!" Race grins and Spot wanted to die.

"Hi!" Spot says.

A girl beside Race clears her throat and Race's eyes widen. 

"Oh, Spot, this is my girlfriend Marcie," Racetrack introduces and Spot feels like he was punched in the gut.

"Hi," Spot forces out, "I'm Sean."

"Nice to meet you," The girl giggles.

Right, Racetrack was straight. Spot watches the two talk amongst themselves. He knew he should've never even thought the boy could be a little gay. To be honest, Spot isn't even sure why it's bothering him that much. Race is a stupid boy and Sean Conlon does not get upset over stupid boys. Especially not boys with pierced ears and curly blonde hair, especially not boys who vape in class and get stoned on the weekends. Especially not boys nicknamed Racetrack.

"Do you have a board? We can stop and pick it up?"

"No."

As they walk to the car, Spot can see why Racetrack liked her. And Spot hated that he didn't hate her. Marcie had thick, short brown hair and green eyes and a double nose piercing. She wore the same vans as Race and had an *NSYNC t-shirt on with black jeans. Marcie wore bright red lipstick and hardly any other makeup. She was gorgeous, really. And her personality was just as good; she was loud, funny and extremely kind.

"This is your car?" Spot stares at the old mustang with wide eyes, "Where the hell did you get it?"

"My dad," Racetrack replies and it just occurs to Spot how rich Race must really be.

"Shit," Spot says and he inspects it closely, too scared to actually touch it.

It could use a new coat of paint and maybe a few touch ups here and there, but it was one of the fanciest cars Spot had seen...which says a lot.

"You like cars?" Marcie asks him curiously.

Spot nods, "Yeah."

"Cool," She replies and it doesn't sound mocking, it sounds as if she really means it. Spot hates that.

"C'mon, we gotta go pick up Les," Race says and gets into the car.

Spot hesitates before crawling into the back. He stares out the window as Marcie blasts music and Race sings along to it. They pull up to a small house that looks like Medda's but just a bit bigger. Marcie gets out and runs to the front door, knocking harshly on the green door. Spot sees Sarah open it with a smile and then call for Les. Marcie skips back to the mustang and sits down. Les comes running out only a few seconds later. Spot laughs at how much he looks just like David, just without the curly hair. He was wearing a fortnite shirt with Nike shorts which made everything better.

"Hey, Les!" Racetrack greets the kid with a fist pump. The boy climbs into the back, struggling with his skateboard.

"Hi!" Les says when seeing Spot, "I'm Les, I'm near 10!"

Spot isn't really sure why he's yelling and he takes back about what he said about him being like David.

"Les, this is Spot."

Les laughs, "Spot?"

"It's Sean," He corrects.

Spot goes back to looking out the window as Les, Marcie and Race scream lyrics to some Ariana Grande songs.

They pull up to the skate park, it was partially empty. Probably due to it being a Monday. Spot follows behind the trio to meet up with Albert and boy Spot doesn't recognize. He'd seen him in pictures Jack has but he's never met him.

"Dutchy," The blonde boy says.

"Sean."

"It's Spot," Albert interrupts.

Spot sighs and crosses his arms. He takes a seat on a bench at the top of the...Spot really doesn't know the first thing about skating. Les sits beside him, putting on his helmet and knee pads.

"My Mamma gets super nervous," Les says, "I told her I'm really good! But she doesn't care."

"Should stay safe," Spot agreed.

"But I'm super good," Les retorts, "Not like Mars and Race but I'm good."

Spot nods, "They should wear helmets anyways."

Les just grins and stands up, grabbing his board and walking to the smaller ramps. Marcie was waiting for him with her own board.

Spot watches as she helps Les around before the boy gets the hang of it. He was good for a nine year old, Spot decides. Spot watches Racetrack, who was just going back and forth whereas Albert was doing tricks. Racetrack starts doing tricks later and Spot really wished he knew more about skating.

Race stops abruptly and takes a seat beside Spot, "Don't you want to go?"

"I don't have a skateboard, I told you," Spot replies.

"You can use mine," Racetrack offers.

"I prefer watching," Spot lies, "I was never that good."

Race nods and leans back against the bench, "Les is getting better."

Spot nods, “Marcie seems to be good with him."

Race smiles, "Yeah."

"She's cool," Spot replies. 

Race clears his throat, "Yeah...I, uh, really like her."

Spot snorts, "Ain't ya sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Race splutters.

Spot just grins, "Didn't seem like it."

"Well we're only seventeen," Race crosses his arms.

Spot shrugs and watches as Dutchy tumbles. Race laughs loudly and yells down at him. Dutchy gives him the middle finger and yells for him to come back.

—

Spot enters the house as quiet as possible, but Medda was sitting on the stairs watching him.

"How was the skate park?" Medda asks.

"Fine," Spot says.

Medda smiles, "We got takeout, hope you like Chinese."

Spot has, in fact, never had Chinese before, but he nods and follows her into the dining room where Jack was typing on his phone. She hands Spot a box of rice and some type of chicken. Medda hands him chopsticks as well but Spot uses a fork instead. He eats it slowly, and nearly moans at how good it tastes. Jack watches him in amusement, as if he understands.

—

That night, Spot found it difficult to sleep again. He pulled the ragged blanket near his face and grabbed his phone from the night stand. He winced at the blue light and lowered his darkness. Spot saw two texts from Race and grinned.

 

to: spot

1:21am

[ attachment.vid ]

this is a vid al took of me from a while ago

 

to: racetrack

why are you awake?

also cool.

 

to: spot

why aren't u

 

to: racetrack

can't sleep.

 

to: spot

me either

what did u have 4 dinner

 

to: racetrack

Why do you care?

 

to: spot

trying to keep the conversation going ya know

 

to: racetrack

..Chinese

 

to: spot

a Medda fav

i had some weird pasta concoction my lil sis made up

 

to: racetrack

You have a sister?

 

to: spot

i'm the fifth of seven kids

 

to: racetrack

Wow.

 

to: spot

yep.

do u have any siblings?

 

to: racetrack

nope. mamma decided one was enough which is good bc she can barely take care of herself

 

to: spot

I wish my parents only had me

 

to: racetrack

well since you are the fifth kid you wouldn't be the first born anyways so u never have a chance in being the only child

besides it's lonely

 

to: spot

maybe in a parallel universe I am

I would give anything to have a bit of alone time

 

to: racetrack

I guess I would prob think the same thing if I had lots of siblings

 

to: spot

yeah bc even tho they are in college they somehow manage to always be home at some point

well, night spot

 

to: racetrack

It's sean

night race

 

Spot placed his phone back on the nightstand and couldn't help the stupid smile on his face. He sighs and crawls out of bed, he wraps his blanket around him and tip toes downstairs.

He grabs a glass of water and sits at the kitchen table. Sean freezes when hearing the fridge opens. 

"Hey, Sean," Medda says softly. Spot watches as she pours herself a glass of water as well, "Trouble sleeping?"

Spot nods and she sits across from him. He sips at his water quietly, trying to ignore Medda's eyes on him. 

"I've found a good place for your mother," Medda tells him. "I was thinking I could drop her off Thursday?"

Spot grins, "Really?"

"Yeah," Medda smiles. "Baby steps, remember, just because she goes doesn't mean she'll stay clean."

"I know."

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up when they can be easily thrown out," Medda sighs, "But she's already doing well on her own."

Spot nods, "I think the judge is gonna give her phone privileges if she goes and visitation if she stays clean."

"I hope so," Medda tells him.

"I miss her," Spot admits quietly. "It's always been me and her and now they decide to take me away?"

"She was given multiple chances," Medda replies.

"I don't see why she's being punished when it was my dad that was the reason she is who she is," Spot grumbles.

"...she chose to do it," Medda says.

"My dad is out there just doing whatever the fuck he wants and they don't even care. They don't care that my mom gave me everything she could."

"Your father wasn't in the picture when they came to get you," Medda continues, "They can't hold him accountable."

"Bullshit."

"Sean..."

Spot rubs his eyes and stands up abruptly, "I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"...all right. Goodnight, Sean."

Spot ignores her and rushes up the stairs. 

—

Spot woke up later than usual, which surprised him. But it was still early, Medda didn't get him up until 7:30 and it was only 6:00. Spot would usually just lay in bed until then but could hear Jack saying something in the shower and someone replying...someone who sounded suspiciously like David. Spot, a bit disgusted, decides to get out his room before he hears something he doesn't want to hear.

Spots suspicions are correct when he exits his bedroom to find David walking out of Jack's. His hair was dry and he was dressed in his usual sweater and khakis.

"...Hey," David says awkwardly.

"Hey," Spot says, "Didn't know you were over."

David just rocks back and forth on his heels. Spot shrugs and continues going downstairs, he can hear David following him. 

"You know I could care less, right?" Spot says, "I'm not that much of an asshole."

"I never thought you were an asshole," David says.

Spot gives him a look and David falters.

"Well, okay just a little bit but I think it's because you always look angry."

"I am always angry," Spot says and grabs the Frosted Flakes he requested when Medda asked if he wanted anything. Originally he felt bad about it but sometimes he feels as though he deserves to use her money anyways, she is supposed to take care of him.

"It's not healthy," He hears Jack comment.

Spot wonders when he got downstairs.

"I was just telling David that I know you two are fucking or whatever so you don't have to be awkward with each other around me because to be honest that's just more uncomfortable," Spot says and shoves a spoonful of the cereal into his mouth. He takes pleasure in the way both of their faces turn bright red.

"I should...get going," David says, "Before the rest of my family...before Medda."

David kisses Jack's cheek and Jack follows him to turn of the alarm. Spot wonders if he can get Jack to tell him the code.

"You're an asshole," Jack says when he enters the kitchen.

"So I've been told."

"And Dave and I aren't fucking," Jack says.

Spot snorts, "Okay whatever you wanna call it, Cowboy. I could care less what you do in your free time."

Jack splutters and drops the bowl he was grabbing, "I mean he's my boyfriend! But you don't have to call it..."

Spot freezes as the bowl crashes to the floor. He was positive Jack didn't mean to break it or raise his voice but Spot couldn't help the way his heart continued to race even though everything was all right. He can see Medda come into the room and ask something but everything is blurry and he can't seem to anything but his own breathing and thoughts. He eyes the broken glass warily but it's blocked by a blurry face in front of his.

"Sean? Calm down," He can faintly hear Medda say and Spot wants to laugh but he can't. 

"Medda?" He hears Jack day and Medda moves out of the way and Jack takes her place.

Jack's voice is soothing, quiet and understanding. He doesn't touch Spot which he is grateful for. Jack's counting slowly and breathing in and out trying to get Spot to match his. Spot slowly calms down, his vision focusing and his head getting clearer. He doesn't feel much underwater as he had before.  

"Are you okay?" Medda asks when Sean uncurls from himself. He stretches his legs back down and rubs his hands on his thighs.

Spot nods.

"A panic attack," Jack tells Medda and she nods. "I used to get them a lot too."

Spot just stares at his cereal, suddenly not very hungry, "I was just...I can't...uh, when the dish broke."

"Sorry," Jack apologizes.

Spot shakes his head, "It's fine...I'm gonna just go get ready."

Medda and Jack both nod and Spot practically runs out of the room.

—

The week dragged on incredibly slow. Jack and David at least were not pretending to not be together, thankfully. He was getting tired of watching them make eyes at each other around Spot, but now, as he watched them make out on the couch he wishes he would've kept his mouth shut. Spot just sighs and leaves the bonus room in favor of his own. 

He had gone to the skatepark with Race earlier but got bored and asked Jack to pick him up. But he should've just stayed at the skatepark now he realizes.

Sarah kept texting him about a party Friday but Spot was ignoring her. He was not being dragged to a stupid high school party. Spot had enough of parties in the city and realized they were all the same and stupid.

Medda has gone to drop his mother off at rehab and he hadn't seen her since he went to school. Medda wasn't able to take her until the afternoon and the city was about an hour away but Spot was nervous and just wanted news. 

He was watching skateboarding videos that Race had sent him while he waited. 

"Spot, Dave and I are ordering Mexican, want anything?" Jack asks.

Spot shrugs, the only Mexican he ever ate was crappy tacos from a 99 cent taco store.

Jack nods, "Don't worry I'm an expert when it comes to good Mexican food."

"He is," David confirms.

Spot just stares at them, "Then get me something good."

"Also, Medda's back," Jack says as he dials the number to a food place.

Spot practically jumps up, "And?"

"She's in her room," Jack says and pushes David out of the way when Spot runs past them and downstairs. 

"Medda?" Spot asks, knocking on her door.

Medda opens the door with a sad smile and Spot's bad mood returns.

“So…?” Spot asks hopefully.

“She uh, didn’t go. Said she wanted you to be there,” Medda says, “I tried explaining that the judge won’t give her visitation if you were. That the point is she gets better and you get to see her…”

“Then I’ll stay in the car and watch,” Spot confirms.

“Spot…the judge.”

“My mom wants to get better!” Spot tells her. “She wants me to see it, surely the judge won’t care. How’s the judge gonna know anyways?”

Medda sighs, “We’ll take her Saturday.”

Spot grins, “Thanks, Medda. She will get better.”

Medda ruffles Spot’s hair and he only flinches a little bit.


	3. Parties Are Not Hot But The Boys Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter about spots mom going to rehab and a party yeehaw

It was Friday night and rather than spending the night at home and watching Netflix, he was being dragged to a party with Sarah. He was surprised Medda even let him go considering his curfew was twelve. As long as he got home before three Spot would be okay.

He watched as Jack blended easily into the crowd, David right by his side. Sarah was clutching Spot's arm as she led him around. He follows behind her, not wanting to be alone.

"Spotty!" He hears someone shout. Sarah pushes him towards the group and yells something about getting drinks.

Spot recognizes the group as Marcie, Race and Albert. They were sharing what Spot suspected to be weed and he sighed.

"Wanna hit?" Marcie asks, holding up the makeshift water bottle bong

"No," Spot declines and takes the empty space beside Race.

"More for me," She shrugs.

"Hi, Spotty," Racetrack grins, leaning close to Spot's face.

Spot can practically smell the alcohol and weed on his breath, he tries not to wince.

"Hey, Racer," Spot smiles at him.

Racetrack just gives him a dopey smile and slouches against Spot's shoulder. Spot was relieved when Sarah approached him holding two red cups.

"Thank you," Spot says and takes whatever alcohol Sarah had picked. He downs it as quickly as possible, trying to ignore the burning sensation it sent down his throat.

"Race," Marcie whines and tugs the boy towards her after passing Albert their weed. Race smiles at her like how he had smiled at Spot and Spot feels his chest tighten as he kisses her.

Albert groans and shoves at them with his foot, "No!"

Marcie flips him off and makes a show of pulling Race even closer and pulling his hair. Spot made a face and got off the couch to go to the kitchen and find something stronger. He sees Sarah talking to Katherine and grins to himself, "Get it," He mumbles as he passes them.

Spot stumbles into the kitchen and groans when seeing Blink and Mush making out against the counter.

"Really?" He groans and grabs a bottle of whatever that was lying on the island of the kitchen. "Everywhere I turn..."

"It is a party," Mush says when Blink begins kissing his neck, not even bothering to stop.

Spot just groans and leaves the kitchen, taking a swig of whatever it was in the bottle. He passes by Jack and David although David was trying to keep Jack from drinking so much and Jack was just laughing with Crutchie. Spot stares at them for a few minutes before he decides to just lean against a wall and watch everyone else. He can see Marcie and Race still sucking face and Albert seems to have left them in favor of making out with some boy with dark brown hair.

He briefly wonders if all of Jack's friends were extremely gay or didn't care as long as they could get off.

"Hey."

Spot slowly turns his head to find a boy smiling widely at him. Spot takes a drink and offers it to him. The boy continues smiling as he takes a long sip of it.

"I'm JJ," The guy grins, "Or Hot Shot."

Spot just stares at him, "Everyone around here got stupid nicknames?"

"Only the cool ones."

Spot snorts and gives the guy a very obvious once over. He was wearing a red, very fitting, tank top and black skinny jeans with boots similar to Spot's. 

"What's yours?"

"Sean," He replies.

"Nickname?"

"Ah, see I don't share stupid nicknames," Spot grins.

Hot Shot hands the bottle back to Spot, but he discards it. Hot Shot stares at him a few more minutes before kissing him. Spot kisses him back hard, pulling Hot Shot against himself, he notices the boy has a lip ring and Spot wasn't going to lie, it was fucking hot. Hot Shot presses him back into the wall, his hands resting on Spot's waist.

"Fuck," Spot says as Hot Shot presses kisses against his neck, the metal of his lip ring cool against his skin for only a second.

He lets his hands wander down the boys chest and to his ass, Spot can't help but smile as the boy groans.

"Wanna get out of here?" Hot Shot whispers.

Spot knows he shouldn't, he'd get in trouble with Medda for breaking curfew. But Hot Shot was really hot and obviously available unlike someone else...

"Yeah," Spot responds almost breathlessly. 

—

Saturday morning came quickly and Spot's head was pounding. Spot rubs his eyes and stares at the ceiling for a few minutes before realizing he wasn't in his own room. He looks around at the posters of unfamiliar people staring back at him. The room was painted a dark grey and very small, with only a bed, desk and small tv on the wall across from the bed. Spot rolled onto his back and looked to his side to see the boy from the night before laying beside him. He was lying on his stomach, with his arm half under his head.

Spot stares at him a few more minutes before he checks his phone to see a few messages Jack, Medda, some from Sarah and a bunch from Race.

to: spot

from: jack

[ 12:13am ]

where did u go

Who was thsg?

Ur gu?

**gaga

***gay

 

to: spot

from: sarah

[ 2:03am ]

spot

i did a Bad thing

[ 2:05am ]

nvm is k

txt me in morn

 

to: spot

from: racetrack

[ 2:03am ]

where r u

spot

spoot

spooty

seann

[ 2:34am ]

cum fin m

[ 11:23am ]

u up

ew

wanna hang today?

 

to: racetrack

no.

to: spot

geez

to: racetrack

i'm visiting my mamma.

from: racetrack

oh mayb after

to: racetrack

k.

 

to: spot

from: medda

[ 10:03am ]

Where are you?

Sean!

We have to go pick up your mother.

[ 11:30am ]

Sean, I'm coming to get you. 

Spot closes his phone and sets it back down on the bed. He makes a mental note to get back to Sarah at some point. He looks around the room and hastily grabs his clothes from the floor.

"Where're you going?" Hot Shot says groggily, slowly sitting up.

"Shit," Spot grumbles as he buttons his pants, "I've gotta head out."

Hot Shot rubs his temples and frowns, "At least let me get your number?"

Spot grabs a pen lying on the desk and writes it on the boys arm, "Call me later."

Hot Shot smirks and Spot grabs his phone and leaves the room. He tiptoes past the kitchen where he hears voices and rushes out the front door. Spot sighs when seeing Medda's car pull into the driveway as if she was timing how long it would take Spot to get outside.

Spot slowly walked towards the truck. He can see Medda watching him and she didn't look angry, which was the scary part. He climbed into the truck and pretended he wasn't uncomfortable with the way Medda was watching him.

He folds his arms across his chest and leans back. Medda hands him medicine and bottled water. Spot stares at it with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not accusing you of drinking...but I know teenagers and I know Jack," She says slowly.

"I did...uh, drink," Spot says taking the medicine.

"And I don't approve of it," Medda then says as she starts the car, "And I don't approve of you leaving with some random person and not telling anyone."

"It wasn't a random person," Spot lies.

"Oh."

"I knew him," Spot replies, "His names JJ or Hot Shot."

Medda nods and keeps her eyes on the road, "I still don't approve of you not telling me or Jack. You are my responsibility..."

"I didn't ask to be," Spot grumbles. 

"Well, you are. You are placed under my care and you have to follow my rules. It isn't that hard," Medda says and he can tell she's growing a bit angry, "You tell me when you leave, where you are going and when/if you'll be back. You're curfew is set at midnight and if you won't be back by then you tell me...I let you stay out later this time for the party."

"I've only done it twice."

"And you can't keep doing it!" Medda says as calmly as possible. "Whether it's your mom, your friends...I don't care if the judge says for you to go somewhere else I need to know."

"You're tracking me anyways," Spot says, "You don't need to know."

Medda doesn't comment on that, "I just...I—"

Spot rolls his eyes and turns himself away from her.

"I did...when Jack first started staying with me he was only twelve," Medda begins, "And he would run away. One time he was gone for almost a whole week and he wouldn't answer his phone, no one had seen him. The police found him sleeping in the streets. And I wondered why he thought being on the streets was better than in a bed."

"Jack's weird."

"I decided to just put a gps on his phone," Medda says, "So I'd know if he ran away and where he was. I'd wait and see if he was gonna come back or call or text. Sometimes he'd come back with bruises and cuts and black eyes. They were gonna take him from me, so I decided to track him instead so I'd find him first."

"I'm not Jack," Spot says.

The rest of the car ride was quiet neither daring to speak. Spot drinks the rest of the water and leans against the window of the truck.

He perks up when seeing the old apartment complex. His mother was already outside, watering her dying plants per usual. Medda stops the truck and Spot jumps out.

"Mamma!" He says excitedly. 

"Sean!" She grins and he hugs her tightly.

"Hi, Leigh," Medda says. 

She nods and Sean helps her grab her things from the house. The ride to the center was silent, but Spot didn't mind. He decides to answer Sarah during this time.

“Who’s that?” His mom whispers.

“Sarah,” Spot replies. 

He closes his phone and leans his head against his mom’s shoulder.

"Are you ready?" Medda asks when they pull up to the rehab center. 

Leigh fidgets nervously but nods. Some workers help her with her things and Spot walks her to the front door.

“I love you, Sean,” She says, ruffling his hair.

“I love you too,” he replies, holding her hand for a minute.

Leigh smiles at him one last time before following the woman into the building.

Spot sits back up front with Medda. Medda pats his shoulder and drives off.

“I’m not punishing you, by the way,” Medda adds after moments of silence. “I didn’t mean to get upset.”

“You didn’t yell at me so it’s fine,” Spot says.

Then he adds, “I should be the one apologizing.”

Medda glances at him but he’s not paying her any attention.

“So…yeah,” He says quietly, “Sorry.”


	4. It Happens Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot doesn’t know how he gets from one place to the other but whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: panic attack beginning at “Spot woke up in a panic” and ending at “uh”

Sunday morning was quiet in the Larkin-Kelly-Conlon household. Medda had gone to some church service tohelp them prepare for their food pantry, leaving only Jack and Spot at home. Jack was eating what looked like cereal with crumbled pop tarts in a bowl even though it was almost the afternoon. Spot learned to not say anything about Jack's eating habits. (But really Spot couldn't say anything because he hadn't had breakfast yet either even though he'd been up since Medda left).

"Did someone eat the last of the Frosted Flakes?" Spot asks when seeing that there was no sign of his cereal in the cabinet.

"...I think Race did," Jack admits.

“Fucker," Spot grumbles and slams the cabinet door closed, "When was he even over?"

"He came over yesterday when you and Medda were gone," Jack says, "Didn't say much."

Spot snorts.

"I know right," Jack laughs, "Race not saying anything, it does happen sometimes."

Spot sighs and sits at the table crossing his arms.

"We have other breakfast foods," Jack tells him as if Spot didn't know that.

"I don't want any of that," Spot replies.

He wondered how ungrateful he sounded but he was mad that someone, who didn't even live there, ate the one thing that was for Spot.

Jack shrugs and then walks upstairs. Spot watches in confusion, looking from his half eaten breakfast to the stairs.

"Jack?"

Jack comes stomping back downstairs and sits at the table. Spot watches him tie up his shoes, "What're you doing?"

"We're gonna go get you Frosted Flakes," Jack grins, "Come on, get your shoes on."

Spot suddenly feels bad, which is rare, "Oh...you can finish eating. I'll find something else."

Jack shakes his head, "Come on, I know how it is. When I first came here I would only eat Mac and cheese dinner."

Spot rolls his eyes, "No you didn't."

"I'm not lying," Jack says. 

Spot glares at Jack who shovels the rest of his food into his mouth and walks towards the door.

Spot slowly rises and grabs his shoes from beside the door. He follows Jack outside and he pauses, waiting for Spot to tie his shoes.

"We don't have a car, genius," Spot says.

Jack grins, "There's a bus stop just down here."

"Of course there is," Spot grumbles and follows. "Why did Medda choose to live in the middle of nowhere?”

"She likes the quiet," Jack responds, "Even though her theatre is always crowded and loud."

"She owns a theatre?"

"Yeah, but it's a ways away from here...it's almost in Manhattan."

"That's almost a half hour," Spot comments.

Jack shrugs, "I dunno. I just know that because I'm from Manhattan and everyone always talked about it.”

"Oh," Spot replies. 

They find a seat on the near empty bus and Spot pulls out his phone intending to yell at Race for eating his Frosted Flakes. He pauses when seeing the messages from Jack still sitting unread (he'd read them but didn't want to open it and let Jack know he had read them). Spot figured Jack forgot he had asked him if he was gay or if he was waiting for Spot to tell Jack himself. Spot glances at Jack's who is smiling down at his phone and typing something. Spot rolls his eyes and puts his phone away, settling for watching the trees and cars pass.

The bus jerks to a stop. Jack suddenly stands up and begins walking off the bus, Spot tries to figure out where they were but he was lost so he gets up and follows after him. Jack leads them past a gas station and sketchy looking buildings until they reach a small, less sketchy-looking apartment complex.

"This is where I'll find Frosted Flakes?"

Jack grins and nods, "Definitely."

Spot shrugs and follows Jack down a hallway rather than up the stairs. He knocks three times in some weird pattern and Spot grew uneasy.

"Who's place is this?" Spot asks.

Jack just grins and does three knocks one more time. The door slowly opens to reveal Crutchie, the boy Spot had briefly met a few weeks ago.

"Hey, Jack!" Crutchie grins.

"Heya Crutch, folks home?"

"Are they ever?" The kid laughs and steps aside.

Jack motions for Spot to follow him.

"Hey, Spot," Crutchie smiles.

Spot looks around the apartment, it reminded him of his own in the city except this one was nicer than Spot's. Then again Crutchie's family probably knew how to take care of it. There was a small TV sitting on a table in the living room, a pull out couch unfolded and two people sleeping on it.

Jack seems to recognize one of them because he walks over to them and says, "Les?"

The boy startles and sits up, looking around the room. Spot recognizes him as David Jacob's little brother.

"What're you doin?" Jack asks.

"We's sleepin'," The girl grumbles.

Jack mocks her and rolls his eyes, "Les, your parents know you're here?"

"They know I was sleeping over with Smalls...they just don't know where," Les shrugs.

"David will have a panic attack—"

"Only if you tell him!"

Spot doesn't hear anything else because Crutchie has tapped his shoulder and led him to the tiny table in the kitchen. He opens a pantry door and pulls out a box of Frosted Flakes, "You like Frosted Flakes?"

Spot nods slowly.

Crutchie grins and grabs two bowls and spoons. He pours cereal and milk into both bowls, keeping one for himself and giving the other to Spot.

"How did they get here?" Jack asks walking back into the kitchen.

"I don't fucking know," Crutchie says, "They probably scammed some man into giving them a ride with their angel faces."

"The kitchen is literally connected to the living room," The girl says, "We can hear you, assholes."

"Good!" Jack calls, "Don't swear!"

"You're not my mom!" Smalls yells back and for good measure gives him the middle finger.

Spot huffs and eats his cereal slowly. Jack sits beside Crutchie, watching the two kids slowly get up and wander to the kitchen. They take a seat at the table and steal the box of Frosted Flakes, passing it back and forth, taking handfuls.

"That's gross," Crutchie says, "Keep your hands out of my cereal."

Crutchie reaches over the table and grabs the cereal box, "I'm gonna take you guys home whenever Spot is finished eating."

Spot stares down at his half eaten cereal and back up at Crutchie. He shovels the rest of the food into his mouth and sighs.

"Jesus," Jack laughs, "Breathe much?”

Spot rolls his eyes and pushes the bowl away from him.

"I guess I'll take you guys home now," Crutchie laughs.

The group of five make their way to a bus stop. Smalls and Les skipping ahead of the three boys following. Spot glanced at his phone to see a few texts from Race but he ignores them. He looks up to see Jack eyeing him but looks away when Spot catches his eye.

They pile onto the bus and take separate seats in silence. The only one's talking were Smalls and Les. Spot leans his head against the window and falls asleep until Jack nudges him and they get off.

The walk back to Medda's was filled with a heavy silence. He could see Jack fidgeting and opening and closing his mouth as if he couldn't decide what to say.

"What?" Spot finally says when he can't take anymore.

Jack stares at him with wide eyes, "Nothin'."

Spot rolls his eyes and shoves his hands in his jean jacket pocket, "Okay, then."

Jack unlocks the door for them, Spot still not owning a key. Medda was sat on the couch watching something on the HGTV channel.

"Hello, boys," She smiles.

"How was church?”

"Good," Medda replies, "Lots of people came today."

Jack spreads himself out on the couch, his head in her lap.

"And where were y'all?"

"Crutchie's," Jack replies, "We ran out of Frosted Flakes."

"You went to Charlie's for Frosted Flakes?" Medda asks.

"Yes, Spot likes them," Jack informs her.

Medda nods, "Sorry I usually do my shopping Monday, Sean."

Spot only shrugs and makes his way upstairs to his room. He closes the door as quietly as possible and flops onto the bed. Spot glances at Race's texts again: memes, asking if he wanted to hang out, videos of skating...the boy couldn't take a hint. Spot just sent a laughing face and moved off the app.

He lays his phone back down and stares at the ceiling, unsure of what to do. A few moments pass and then his phone is ringing again.

"Hello?" Spot grumbles.

"Hey, Sean," A rough voice says on the other end, "'S me, Hot Shot."

"Oh...hey," Spot replies.

"Me and a few friends were gonna get together later tonight? 10-ish? Wanna come over?" He asks.

Spot thinks for a minute, "School in the morning."

"Who cares?"

"Not me," Spot then replies.

"Cool," Hot Shot says, "So?"

"Fine," Spot says, "But I might be late...takes a while to climb out the window."

Hot Shot laughs, "Use the front door?"

"Alarm system."

"Damn," Hot Shot grumbles.

"Yeah," Spot shrugs.

"See you tonight, then?"

"Yeah, tonight," Spot agrees and hangs up the phone.

—

When it reached almost ten o'clock, Spot opened his door a little bit to hear any signs of movement. He was positive Medda was already in her room and he knew for a fact Jack was in the shower. He shut the light off and fixed his pillows in a way to look like someone sleeping and opened his window. Spot shakily climbed out the window and lowered himself as much as possible before dropping.

He glanced at the address on his phone and pulled it up on a GPS, luckily it wasn't too far from where he was. Spot grabbed the bike sitting in the driveway and took off. When he approached a dingy looking house, he hesitated. His GPS said this was the place Hot Shot wanted to meet. And there were a few cars around. Spot got off the bike and slowly made his way to the front door.

He knocked three times before a girl opens the door. She stares at him a while before stepping aside and letting him in. Spot shoves his hands in his pocket and walks into the dimly lit room. People were standing out, some smoking, some drinking and some making out against a wall. The girl who had opened the door held out a hand and grinned, "Rafaela."

"Sean..." He says slowly shaking her hand. "Where's Hot Shot?"

She points down a flight of stairs and walks away. Spot rolls his eyes and makes his way downstairs. He sees Hot Shot almost instantly, the boy was talking with a girl and passing a cigarette back and forth.

"Hey, Sean," He says with a smirk. 

"You really are a junkie," Spot replies and takes the cigarette from him.

Hot Shot grins, "Nah."

"Normal people get together and just smoke and drink on a Sunday?" Spot replies, "A Sunday," He emphasizes.

Hot Shot only shrugs and Spot takes the beer from him this time.

"It's just weed."

"It's just weed," Spot mocks.

Hot Shot gives him the middle finger and places a hand behind Spot's neck, pulling him closer and closer until his lips find Spot's own. Spot hums and places the beer bottle down, pulling Hot Shot closer to him.

He hears someone mimic a throwing up sound and a, "Get a room!" But neither of them move. 

—

Spot woke up in a panic. He didn't remember how exactly he got home and into his bed and he definitely doesn't remember getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. It was as if someone else was controlling him and he was watching from the outside.

Spot gripped the sides of the sink, trying to control his breathing but he felt like he was getting crushed and nothing was calming him down. He tried to turn the faucet on but it was as if his hands were glued to the sink. Spot's legs felt like jelly underneath him and soon he was crouched on the ground, hands knotted in his hair and his body feeling like it was fire.

Someone was crouched in front of him but Spot had closed his eyes. They were mumbling but Spot could only hear his own erratic breathing. He slowly opens his eyes, staring at the blurry figure in front of him slowly coming into focus. They were sitting across from him, appearing calm and they were smiling.

"In and out," They said softly and Spot was relieved that he could hear them. He takes a shuddering breath and stretches his arms out.

"One two three," He hears, "One two three."

Spot slowly lowers his hands and can finally focus on the person in front of him. He feels a sudden wave of embarrassment hit him when he sees Jack sitting criss-cross in front of him.

"Uh," Is all he can say, his throat still feels tight and he needs a glass of water.

Jack nods at him, "It’s okay to have them, I mean it sucks but—."

"What?"

"Panic attacks," Jack says slowly.

"I wasn't...I'm not-" Spot stutters, "There isn't anything wrong with me."

"I never said there was...and having panic attacks don't mean there is something wrong with you."

"Yes, it does."

Jack doesn't say anything else to him, "Maybe you should tell Medda, this is the second time it’s happened—"

"No,” Spot shakes his head, “I’m fine.”

Jack nods and rises to his feet. Spot slowly follows suit, his hands were still trembling and his legs felt like jelly.

“I’m, uh, going back to bed,” Spot says and awkwardly walks backwards through the bathroom door. Jack watches him close the door and then Spot sighs. He falls onto his bed and pulls his blanket close to his face, trying to calm his still racing heart.


	5. Quesadillas Are Da Bomb…Specifically When Race Makes Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> race and spot head home for some nice quesadillas and smooch time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)

Spot was wandering down the streets of the small town, trying to delay going back to Medda's. If he went home he'd have to explain to Medda why he was up crying at random hours in the morning because he was positive Jack would tell her everything. She'd beg him to see a therapist even though Spot doesn't need one, really. Medda would see him as weak and that was the last thing Spot wanted.

Therefore he had stopped at a few small stores, just wandering aimlessly until he got hungry enough to go home. Spot climbed on the bus for at least the tenth time and walked towards the back. He froze when seeing Race standing against a pole, his phone in his face.

"Hey," Spot greets standing beside him.

Race slowly puts his phone down and smiles, "Hey."

Spot turns his gaze out the window, the silence between them awkward.

"Did you see the videos I sent you?" Race asks.

Spot had seen them, but he didn't answer. He had watched them briefly, but he really could care less about skating especially when the video isn't of Race.

"Yeah," Spot nods.

Race smiles, "I'm working on that trick right now."

"Cool," Spot says.

"I'm actually headed home to get my skateboard," Race says.

"What happened to your car?"

"Oh..." Race blushes, "I'm grounded."

"From your car?"

"Yeah," Race laughs awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck, "My dad...well we were driving and he saw...anyways, he said I can't have the car back until he can trust me."

"Well, fuck," Spot laughs, "What'd he find."

Race shakes his head and smiles. 

"How long do you think you'll have no car?”

"Well, it doesn't take him very long to trust me. And midterms come out soon and I have straight A's so that helps."

"Shit, midterms already?"

"Well, not really, it's more of to see an idea of what you have before actual midterms come out."

"It doesn't feel like I've been here that long," Spot comments.

"You really haven't," Race replies. "...So are you gonna come to the skate park with me?"

Spot glances down at his phone, at Medda's texts about dinner, "Why not?"

Race smiles and Spot can't help but smile as well. 

—

They walk down a nice neighborhood full of big houses and fancy cars. Spot eyes them with wonder and hesitance. He crosses his arms and then looks over at Race who looks like he belongs. With his nice shirt and skinny jeans, vans that look brand new. Spot's shirt had a hole near the bottom and was loosing its blue color, his jeans were a bit too big and his shoes were falling apart. His jean jacket was the only nice thing he was wearing.

They stop at a rather large house, seemingly bigger than the others but Spot knew it was just perspective. Race digs in his backpack for his keys before pulling out a single blue key and unlocking the door. He drops the key back into his backpack and walks into the house. Spot watches as Race calls out a, "I'm home!"

There was no response which made Race smile at him, "Nice."

Spot didn't really know why it was nice but followed Race further inside. Race placed his shoes in a corner of a rather large  room, Spot follows suit.

"Hungry?" Race asks, opening a pantry door and glancing inside. 

"Not really," Spot says.

"Sad, my quesadillas are to die for," Race replies and pulls out a pan and the ingredients for his "famous quesadillas."

Spot raises an eyebrow at a few weird ingredients the boy has laid around. There was the basic cheese, chicken and vegetables but then he had multiple types of cheeses and spices Spot had never heard of. 

"Jack taught me his ways," Race replies, "That's why they're the best."

Spot awkwardly leans against the counter, "Okay."

"You'll regret not wanting one."

Spot doubts that, but he laughs and watches Race prepare his own food.

When the quesadilla was done cooking, Race splits it into two and passes the other half to Spot.

"Dude, I said I'm not hungry," Spot tells him.

Race just pouts, "At least try one bite? Please?"

Spot sighs and stares at the plate in front of him then back at Race who was already trying to eat his half, despite it being too hot. Spot sighed and picked up the smaller half, he eyed it warily before taking a tiny bite.

"That's not a big enough bite!" Race criticizes ans Spot glares but takes a larger bite.

And, he nearly moans at how good it actually was. He was surprised and he guessed it showed because Race was giggling...giggling. Spot placed the quesadilla down, "It's okay."

"Okay?" Race taunts.

"Pretty good," Spot replies. And if he was going to ask Jack to make these quesadillas more often, well no one needs to know.

"I'll take it," Race grins and finishes off his half. Spot stares at his own half but can't make himself eat it so he passes it to Race, who eats it rather quickly.

Spot places the dish in their sink while Race puts ingredients back up. "Well," Race says and wipes his hands on a towel, "Wanna head over now?"

Spot looks over at him and his breath catches when realizing how close they were. Race doesn't seem fazed he just smiles his stupid cheesy smile and Spot can only stare. He didn't even realize Racehad moved over to the sink.

"Uh," Spot stutters and he scolds himself mentally, "Yeah...yeah."

Spot swears he sees Race's eyes flicker to his lips before trailing back up to his eyes. Spot wants to lean in, suddenly wants to kiss him, but Race has a girlfriend. And Spot doesn't do boyfriends. He does hook ups. He doesn't do the whole "letting someone in" thing, he likes to keep people away.

But somehow Race seems to have gotten closer and Spot could feel the boys breath on his face. And Spot could feel his heart beating faster than he’s ever felt it before. Spot feels like a cliché and wants to laugh but he doesn’t want Race to move away. Spot takes the small inch forward and Race’s lips are barely pressed against his and then the door is being open and there is yelling. They both jump and turn away from each other. 

“God! You’re so annoying!” A girls voice shouts and the door slams, Race scoffs.

“Isabella!” He shouts, “There’s a guest!”

A girl who looks very similar to Race appears in the kitchen. She was frowning and her arms were crossed. Her curly brown hair was in what, Spot guesses, was once a ponytail but her hair was too short so it was kind of just collapsing around her. But she made it work somehow.

“Josh?” Race asks her and she nods and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Idiota!” She announces and she takes a deep breath and turns to Spot with a forced smile, “Hi, I’m Isabella, this nerds older sister.”

“Uh…Sean,” Spot says and shakes her outstretched hand.

“Sean…?”

“Conlon.”

“Nice to meet you,” Isabella grins and then she turns to Race, says something in a language Spot doesn’t understand and disappears.

The boys are left alone like before but this time there was a bit of awkward tension hanging in the air.

“Uh…I should actually get home,” Spot tells Race, “Maybe we can go to the skate park another time?”

“Y-yeah,” Race says, “Sure.”

Spot nods and hesitates before leaving the kitchen. Race follows behind him silently and watches Spot leave the house.

“Bye,” Spot says and steps onto the porch. 

“Bye,” Race replies and he looks like he wants to say something else but he doesn’t, so Spot heads to the bus stop.

**Author's Note:**

> watch eyewitness. also hoped you enjoyed it!


End file.
